Have you ever had a quote just show up in your life at the right time?
Over ten years ago now, I went through one of my biggest career and personal growth challenges. The decision I made also meant that my family would also have to face the hardship and make sacrifices.
As time went on, not knowing how this would go, we leaned on our available resources. We learned about food pantries, asking for help, getting up every day and just doing the best we can, working with what we have - and holding loosely to places and things. For the first time since our first Church Plant, we were broke and dangerously close to homeless. This time though, we had the kids.
I felt isolated, betrayed. I was frustrated. I felt defeated.
When the smoke cleared, I had a lot of choices to make.
Would I, Could I … should I still go to work as a Nurse? What would I do, did it matter?
I had to go back to work - for my family. And believe me, that was the only reason I returned to work. (I guess that may be the case still every once in a while )
Every day was a struggle. So many moments of despair, moral distress and day dreaming about just walking out… go do something else, anything else. I knew I could no longer work in a environment that was so out of alignment with my values.
I checked all the boxes:
cynical or critical at work
drag myself to work and have trouble getting started
Irritable or impatient mostly with leadership
Lack of energy to be consistently productive
Finding it hard to concentrate
lack of satisfaction from achievements
disillusioned about my work
using food to feel better or to simply not feel
Difficulty sleeping
unexplained headaches, migraines
BURNOUT.
I needed a breakthrough. I knew the consequences to my health if I didn’t find a way to manage the misery.
I held on to the knowing that despite all I had gone through, despite my circumstances… I had family and friends who loved me, family and friends to love. I had colleagues who did step up. And always - my God is an ever present help in time of trouble.
We learned how to dance in the rain.
“Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning how to dance in the rain.” - Vivian greene
This quote still sits in my office as a reminder. This was the family picture taken by my sister that year.
#reimaginewellness